We have all heard “Happy WIFE happy life” and trust me I AM the queen of the house and my happiness is DEFINITELY important but lets not be selfish ladies…we gotta make our KING happy too…
I never hear Happy Husband…happy…ummm? Yeah no, not cool!
Now I’m not going to take all the credit for this… but this MAN in my life said something that stuck with me “Happy SPOUSE…Happy HOUSE” and I really couldn’t agree more. Is it bad that I never heard it before though? Maybe because I always heard make the wife happy and you’re in the game.
This is my first marriage and I’m not gonna lie I was pretty afraid of being a wife, and to be honest I really didn’t think I was capable but it’s funny how God has us doing things we never thought we would. I mean, I knew I loved my husband and I also knew he was it for me! BUT the thought of marriage was scary and I think what I stressed the most was making sure I kept him happy. I have flaws y’all, and I sometimes act pretty much like a brat (being honest with myself real quick) so because I was used to what my past did to me I thought, ohhh GOD I don’t want to upset him and he leaves me forgetting that God actually created my husband for me. I always find myself asking him “are you happy with me” and even after he reassures me I still question his happiness. The fact of the matter is, overall happiness in a marriage isn’t determined by the momentary things that happen. Now don’t get me wrong that helps however, I’ve realized that overall happiness has everything to do with how much your spouse loves you. Which means… that argument won’t make you want to leave him or her alone, or toothpaste in the sink (my husband knows I can’t stand that lol) won’t piss you off and make you unhappy, or because one didn’t do what the other asks now we’re unhappy. It’s like life! We wish to be happy all the time but as soon as life shifts we go crazy forgeting we are in control of our happiness regardless of the situation.
Photography: Stephen Crosson @crossoniam Book: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
It’s not good to sweat the small things in a marriage because you’ll ALWAYS open up that unhappy door…to avoid that be open to express those feelings to your spouse. One thing my husband and I don’t do is go to bed upset with each other, if there’s an issue we hash it out, kiss and just love on each other. If we were to allow those things to linger and manifest we would just be opening up that unhappy door and thats a door I want to keep closed.
Now since we’re talking about happiness in a marriage let me shift this a little bit and suggest that you don’t confide in people who are unhappy in their marriage. You wont get the best advice from them because number one the subject is too sensitive for them, and they might not care to see you happy in your marriage…your spouse should be the one you confide in and if you can’t be honest with your spouse then you two have some work to do.
The most important thing is to focus on having a loving marriage and growing together. I’m never gonna stop growing into the woman God wants me to be for my husband and thats just something I need to accept and understand that I’m not perfect but my husband is perfect for me…therefore the things I think he may push me to the side for actually makes him love me even more because now we can work on those things together. Keeping God in the center of our marriage and genuinely loving each other keeps our happiness STRONG and PRESENT!