Lord knows I have been wanting to share my story of why I went on this whole “Living for Jasmine” spree. I know you’re probably wondering why I chose to do such a “selfish” thing right? or maybe not…Well for a lot of my life and I’ve only been on this earth for 26 years I know, but a lot of those years were spent living for others instead of myself. They may not have forced me to do it or told me I had to live their life but when you feel like that’s what you NEED to do or you’re AFRAID it becomes hard.
Growing up I definitely didn’t have the “best life” as it relates to a stable household. You know…parents married, family super put together all that jazz. In fact my parents had me at a young age, dad had his problems which definitely affected my mother and I. I always yearned for that relationship with my father but I never wanted to make my mother upset and she was never hesitant of expressing her WARRANTED frustration with my father. My mom was a single parent doing everything to take care of me, she is successful, she’s strong, she’s loving, she’s a provider but under all that she hurts. Because of that growing up although it may not have been intentional, I definitely felt as though I was reaping ALL of what my father didn’t step up to do all my life…
I became angry at everyone! NOBODY got a pass but I still had the heart of my mother; strong, loving, a provider…just hurt. I was hurt because my dad didn’t step up as he should have, and I just knew I was the blame and the cause for everything. Well, those feelings followed me everywhere…my relationships, the workplace, school, just MY LIFE. I felt the need to apologize all the time, I gave up who I was for people, I put others feelings first because I didn’t want to lose them or upset them, so I was super cautious by making sure everyone was pleased around me forgetting I lacked the love and commitment to myself.
“Don’t lose yourself living for the sake of others…LIVE FOR YOU!”
That was it for me…I couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired of being frustrated with my past, I felt drained from always being there for people, trying to satisfy every person connected to me, and feeling like I had to walk on egg shells. I didn’t care anymore…and sometimes not caring is a good thing and sometimes it’s not so good (especially if you don’t know God) I went through both of those stages.
During my last years of undergrad I went through a few humbling experiences which prompted me to get to know myself and God more. This was the REAL start of my living for Jasmine spree. I started to discover the many talents God blessed me with, I was no longer afraid or ashamed of my dreams and my passion. I became more confident and I stood up for myself AND my feelings. Now I’m living what I call my best life because most importantly unlike before I’m happy with where God has me! Now don’t get me wrong I’m still learning how to let things go, and live more for me but that’s with anything in life. Just as long as you’re willing to do what it takes to get to your full potential…which is a never-ending journey for all of us, YOU GOT THIS! So I’m here to tell you don’t be afraid to live your life, let go of your past, move forward and be the BEST YOU! I do it everyday and so can you!
How are you living your life?